One time, as a kid, I watched my dad chew out a Howard Johnson hotel manager for mistakenly double booking our room during a family vacation. I was so shocked to see my normally chill, mild-mannered dad freak the fuck out on someone.
Then as soon as the manager apologized and gave us a free night’s stay in a deluxe suite, it was like someone flipped a switch. In an instant, Dad was all smiles and thankful and soft spoken and… well… back to normal. Like he didn’t just go all Pakistani Hulk on the manager of a HoJo in Anaheim.
Later, I remember him telling my brother and me something he’s repeated many times since then: The squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you need something done, and it isn’t getting done, then you gotta raise hell, get in faces, voice opinions, be relentless until you get what you need.
Here’s the thing: I realize I suck at this.
It’s not that I’m not assertive. I do advocate for myself and actively call out problems when I see them. It’s just, I have my own way of doing that. I like to call it “charm.” It’s a different way of getting things done, and it’s worked pretty well for me in life so far. It takes a little longer, takes a little more effort and energy, but eventually it works out.
